Blog Audit: Reflection

                I found that I typically write about my romantic relationships.  A lot of my blog entries talk about my ex-boyfriend Jared and how lucky I was to end that relationship.  Most of my entries discuss my relationship with Jacob and how it evolves throughout the semester to just being friends to a romantic relationship.  One of the themes or specific concerns that continue to reoccur is how crappy my high school relationship was.  I guess the old saying is true, young and dumb!  For my relationship with Jared, I still have strong emotions and hate that I was used throughout my high school years.  Dating him was a huge learning experience.  I wish I left him after the first time he cheated on me but I stayed.  It always makes me wonder where I would be today if I left him.  I also always wonder where I would be if I stayed with him.  I know if I stayed I’d be engaged already but I am very glad that I ended it before he popped the question.  My frustration with Jacob not knowing what he wanted was also an issue that I discussed because it was such a huge part of my life during the first half of the semester.  It was very hard on me not knowing what was going to happen and knowing that if we decided not to be together, how would that friendship look. 

One of the huge changes that I noticed was my entries seem to turn happier sounding once Jacob and I began dating.  I found it a lot easier to talk about topics because I was in a romantic relationship that I was able to relate the materials that we learned in class too.  I found that it was also easier to realize how and why my past relationships failed because I was more accepting of my own faults and was able to relate them to why my past relationships didn’t work out.  My seeing these, I am able to focus on my flaws in order to keep a positive and healthy relationship now and in the future.

One thing that really surprised me when re-reading my blog entries was how vulnerable I was when writing these.  After reading them, I was amazed on how open I was about my past relationships and my current relationship.  I shared a lot that I couldn’t imagine sharing with my parents.  Most of my friends know about my relationship with Jared but I like to keep my relationship with Jacob very quiet and not many people know that we are dating.  I found it very relieving to write about my relationship instead of straight telling someone about it. 

I found that two of my last entries were worth revising.  I found that I have a lot to talk about being in a long distance relationship because everything that was discussed in class was very relevant to my relationship.  It was also particularly interesting to look at because we started our relationship long distance too.  I also found it very easy to talk about relationship dissolution because there was so many different aspects in my relationship with Jared that contributed to us breaking up which make it very easy to look at and evaluate.  So at this point, I plan on expanding blog 8 and blog 9 to continue to discuss these two topics in more depth. 

One aspect of the weekly blogging that I valued the most was just being able to relieve some stress and to look at why previous relationships didn’t last and how to ensure that the relationship that I am in now continues to be healthy and positive.  This shows up in my entries because I look into my love style, attachment style, identity, how I deal with conflict, how I feel about infidelity, about my long distance relationship and past relationship dissolution along with evaluating my love language.  I chose my blog entries by looking at which ones related to my life now or related to my past relationships.