Blog 3: Idenity

One experience that I have particularly with identity is trying to keep my identity separate from others.  With my ex-boyfriend Jared, he wanted me to do everything with him especially things that he was really passionate about that I wasn’t.  For example, I do like to go hunting and fishing but sometimes I rather do them by myself or I’m just not interesting in that type of hunting.  Jared always wanted me to go on every fishing trip or go goose and duck hunting which I didn’t want to do.  I feel like there are parts of a person’s identity that they should do these things by themselves or with their friends.  If it’s something that I don’t want to do or they don’t want to do I feel like it shouldn’t be pressured and that we can do things we enjoy by ourselves. 

One of my huge non-negotiable is making life decisions based on being in a relationship.  When I was entering my freshman year of college, I decided to stay close to home not only to save money but to be with my boyfriend of almost three years at that point.  Now looking back after breaking up my second month into college, I wish I would have did what I wanted to do and explore my other options and meet new people.  Now that I am half way done with my second year and moving 3.5 hours away, I can truly say that I did what I wanted to do any even though I don’t talk to my friends as much and lost another relationship, I wouldn’t change moving for anything.  My boyfriend that I have now also lives back at home and he wants me to come home and be with him but no matter how much I want to and he wants to I could never change my life choices of leaving UW Stout to come home to be with a guy.  If we love each other, long distance will work for the next few years.  Another non-negotiable that I have is smoking.  I think that it is disgusting and couldn’t imagine having to smell that all the time.  For me, if a guy smokes, I wouldn’t be able to be with him unless he would quit.  I also have asthma and with the smell of smoke it makes me feel very sick and I am unable to breathe.  I couldn’t image putting my own life at risk to be with someone who wouldn’t do the same.