Blog 1: Lee's Love Styles

The topic that I am going to discuss in Lee’s Love Styles.  I chose this topic because we were asked to take the quiz to see which love style that we had.  I was interesting in seeing what my love style was and if it changed.  During my senior year of high school, I was in a relationship class and I had to take the Lee’s Love Styles inventory.  I remember being highest in Mania and my next was Pragma.  When I took the inventory this time, my highest was Pragma and my next highest was Mania.  I feel that the two styles switched because I’m not in a long term committed relationship.  When I took the inventory in high school, I was in a relationship for two and a half years.  My boyfriend of the time liked to sneak around and he cheated on me a few times.  I feel that I was high in mania during that time also because he talked to a lot of girls I was very worried that he didn’t feel the same for me. 

Now after being in a relationship after that and it not working out because we were so different, I feel that my love style changed.  I figured that I would be more pragmatic because I’m not in a relationship at this time.  Pragma is the practical lover with a shopping list.  Pragmatic people also tend to make cost/benefit analysis before entering the relationship.  My best friend Jacob and I have debating on being in a real relationship for the last few months.  For me, it is very hard because he has been my best friend I know that he can be a play boy and loves to flirt with girls.  This could be the reason for being high in mania.  Jacob and my relationship is also difficult because one of his best friends is my ex-boyfriend from high school which makes it complicated because he doesn’t want us together.  The final thing making it complicated is being 230 miles apart for weeks at a time.  So far long distance has been okay but many fights arise about the guys that I’m hanging out with here.  I love to make cost/benefit lists about guys I could be with and the benefits would be were already best friends to we have lots in common, I have had feelings for him for a long time but ignored them, and we have such a high intimacy and passion.  The costs are the long distance relationship, he could hurt me like many times before, and him being overly jealous of other guys and me enjoying the college life. 

I feel that love styles can change depending on how much effort is being put into the relationship.  With my last boyfriend I was very relaxed and didn’t ever get jealous of who he talked to.  I think it would have been very interesting if I was to take the inventory last year.