The topic that I am going to discuss in Lee’s Love
Styles. I chose this topic because we
were asked to take the quiz to see which love style that we had. I was interesting in seeing what my love
style was and if it changed. During my
senior year of high school, I was in a relationship class and I had to take the
Lee’s Love Styles inventory. I remember
being highest in Mania and my next was Pragma.
When I took the inventory this time, my highest was Pragma and my next
highest was Mania. I feel that the two
styles switched because I’m not in a long term committed relationship. When I took the inventory in high school, I was
in a relationship for two and a half years.
My boyfriend of the time liked to sneak around and he cheated on me a
few times. I feel that I was high in
mania during that time also because he talked to a lot of girls I was very
worried that he didn’t feel the same for me.
Now after being in a relationship after that and it not
working out because we were so different, I feel that my love style
changed. I figured that I would be more pragmatic
because I’m not in a relationship at this time.
Pragma is the practical lover with a shopping list. Pragmatic people also tend to make
cost/benefit analysis before entering the relationship. My best friend Jacob and I have debating on
being in a real relationship for the last few months. For me, it is very hard because he has been
my best friend I know that he can be a play boy and loves to flirt with
girls. This could be the reason for
being high in mania. Jacob and my
relationship is also difficult because one of his best friends is my ex-boyfriend
from high school which makes it complicated because he doesn’t want us
together. The final thing making it
complicated is being 230 miles apart for weeks at a time. So far long distance has been okay but many
fights arise about the guys that I’m hanging out with here. I love to make cost/benefit lists about guys I
could be with and the benefits would be were already best friends to we have
lots in common, I have had feelings for him for a long time but ignored them,
and we have such a high intimacy and passion.
The costs are the long distance relationship, he could hurt me like many
times before, and him being overly jealous of other guys and me enjoying the
college life.
I feel that love styles
can change depending on how much effort is being put into the
relationship. With my last boyfriend I was
very relaxed and didn’t ever get jealous of who he talked to. I think it would have been very interesting
if I was to take the inventory last year.
Attachment forms through a special emotional relationship
that involves an exchange of comfort, care, and pleasure. My first attachment was with my mother. She was a stay at home mom so she was always
around. I feel that my early attachment style
was insecure/ambivalent. I know my mom
didn’t always jump and coming running when I needed something. She believed in letting us children cry it
out sometimes. I feel that we were
always fed and changed when it was needed but if we were fussy she wouldn’t always
comfort me. I know that it really didn’t
bother me when she left but I know when my dad left for work that I would come
out of bed to say goodbye at three in the morning. I wasn’t really worried to much about
strangers and I would warm up to people pretty quick making sure it was okay by
my parents. I definitely had the attitude when I was younger that I wasn’t sure
that I could count of people when I need them. 
I feel like my adult attachment style is a bit of secure and
a bit of anxious/preoccupied. I feel
that I have a secure attachment at times because it is pretty easy to become
emotionally close with others. I don’t really
worry about others accepting me. If someone
doesn’t like me well that sucks for them I don’t care. I have a very positive view of myself and
positive view on others. I feel that I have
an anxious/preoccupied attachment style at time because I tend to seek high
levels of intimacy, approval, and responsiveness from my partner at times. I typically have doubts with my current almost
relationship because I do want it to work out and I don’t want to be hurt. I don’t really see myself as clingy but Jacob
does at times because we only have three to six days together a month and I want
to spend every minute of those days with him because the other 25 days I’m
almost four hours away. The final thing
that I see is that I have high levels of emotional expressiveness, worry, and
impulsive because of the long distance relationship that we are trying to
have. 
